The Hurried Person's Guide to Becoming Unstuck

Stop Spinning Your Wheels and Start Moving Forward

Photo by Fernando Jorge on Unsplash

The reason men oppose progress is not that they hate progress, but that they love inertia." — Elbert Hubbard

Most of us have done it. We’ve come to a place in our lives of deep inertia. We feel like something needs to happen to make life better, but we’re stuck. That something we need isn’t showing up, despite doing all we know to do.

So, now what?

If the solution to stuckness were easy, nobody would ever be stuck. Advice is available everywhere, but if it doesn’t ring true for you or your situation, it’s useless. Generic advice that doesn’t apply can add confusion rather than hope. And what works for the other guy might not necessarily work for you.

“I’ve tried everything they said to try. Why isn’t anything working?”

“It was time to move on from here yesterday, and yet here I still am today.”

This frustration creates a sense of urgency.

Who wants to live a stagnant life?

While there are many ways people get stuck, the two most common forms of stagnation are rumination and drudgery. (If you see another pattern in your own life, feel free to share your thoughts and experience in the comments.)

1. Rumination: This is overthinking in a way that you cover the same thoughts and ideas repeatedly without any sort of breakthrough to a fresh conclusion.

   How long can you blame your significant other for something they did, and how long will you let it affect your relationship? How long can you fantasize about a healthier lifestyle without moving an inch closer to it? How long are you going to think about ways to break out of isolation while still being reluctant to go out the front door?

   You may know what to do, but you end up simply thinking about doing it rather than taking that first step. You’re stuck.

2. Drudgery: There’s an old saying that insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

   The word “insanity” feels a little harsh here, since so many of us who aren’t technically insane behave this way. Drudgery is becoming stuck in a behavioral loop that goes nowhere. In this type of stagnation, we do the same thing repeatedly, get the results we’ve always gotten, and then wonder why we feel stuck.

   For example, how many times have you promised yourself you’ll start looking for a better job, only to wake up, go to work, come home exhausted, and repeat the same cycle day after day? You tell yourself you’ll update your résumé, network, or take that course to improve your skills—but somehow, the routine swallows you again, and nothing changes. Or, if you love your current job, where else do you see this pattern in your life?

Before we go further, it’s important to note that while getting unstuck can be simple, it’s not easy. If it were easy, nobody would ever get stuck. Sometimes, we look at the simplicity of solutions and wonder why it is hard for us to change.

We end up asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

Change can be hard for many people, and there is often emotional baggage around abandoning that which is not working for us in favor of that which does. We can become paralyzed by our fear of change. There can be great comfort in the familiar, even when the status quo is holding us down. “The devil we know” and so on.

We can also become overwhelmed by the complexity of life. Indecision can keep us in stasis as we attempt to figure out our best move, which, when we’re stuck, can seem like a daunting decision to make. We become perfectionistic when we decide, and, consequently, never decide at all.

"Life leaps like a geyser for those willing to drill through the rock of inertia." — Alexis Carrel

So, how might we think about getting unstuck?

First, we might want to assess whether we are stuck because we are thinking obsessively, behaving compulsively, or some mix of the two.

Here are some questions to help you with that assessment:

Identifying Rumination (Obsessive Thinking)

• Am I repeatedly analyzing the same situation without taking action?

• Do I replay past mistakes or events over and over in my mind?

• Do I feel like I need more information or the “perfect” plan before I can move forward?

• Does my thinking focus on regrets, worries, or hypothetical scenarios rather than concrete steps?

• When I try to problem-solve, do I circle back to the same thoughts without making a decision?

Identifying Drudgery (Repetitive Behavior Without Progress)

• Am I following the same routine every day despite feeling dissatisfied?

• Do I keep taking the same actions (or inactions) expecting different results?

• Do I avoid making necessary changes because they feel too big or overwhelming?

• Am I doing tasks that feel familiar but don’t move me closer to my goals?

• Do I feel like I’m “busy” but not accomplishing anything meaningful?

While rumination and drudgery share some features with clinical obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), clinical OCD involves deeper neurological and behavioral patterns that may not respond to rational interventions in the same way. While anyone experiencing stuckness may benefit from the guidance of a therapist, counselor, or psychiatrist, this is especially true for individuals with clinical OCD, who may require specialized treatment.

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there." — Will Rogers

Once you’ve assessed how you are maintaining your inertia, the clues to how to address your stuckness may become evident. Understanding why we’re stuck is only half the battle. The real challenge is figuring out how to break free. You may want to try some of the following:

Breaking Free from Rumination Toolbox.

Observe, Don’t Engage: Notice repetitive thoughts without getting lost in them—mindfulness can help.

Write It Out: Journaling releases mental clutter and organizes emotions.

Shift Focus: Distract yourself with engaging activities like exercise or creative work.

Time-Box Worries: Set a short “worry window” to process concerns, then move on.

Develop a Decision Point: For any specific problem that needs a decision, set a date and a time when you will decide and stick to it.

Take Small Actions: Instead of dwelling, break problems into tangible, action-oriented steps toward change.

Breaking Free from Drudgery Toolbox.

Interrupt the Cycle: Change one small habit—altering routine creates momentum.

Challenge Familiarity: Comfort isn’t progress—ask if your habits are keeping you stuck.

Challenge Busyness: Being busy can create the illusion of change, but doesn’t necessarily bring it about. Does effort result in moving forward?

Take Decisive Action: Stop waiting for the perfect time; make one bold move today.

Alternatively, Take Careful Baby Steps: Small, practical moves can lead to significant progress. It’s not always about the size of the step—what matters is moving forward."

Measure Progress Differently: Look at effort, not immediate results, to stay motivated. Are you giving it your best?

Engage with New Perspectives: Read, talk, or seek out different experiences to shake things up.

Reframe Routine as a Choice: Recognizing agency over actions makes change easier.

Getting unstuck isn’t just about taking action—it’s about recognizing the patterns that have kept you in place and giving yourself the grace to move forward, even if it feels difficult. When you’ve been stuck for a long time, change can feel overwhelming, but even the smallest shift matters. Whether it’s adjusting one thought, making one decision, or altering one habit, momentum starts in small ways. You don’t have to overhaul everything at once. Progress happens step by step, and even if it feels slow, it’s still movement. Give yourself permission to begin.

For your consideration:

Where in your life do you feel stuck right now? Is it rumination, drudgery, or something else entirely?

What’s the hardest part of breaking free from stagnation for you? Fear, uncertainty, or something else?

Have you ever successfully pulled yourself out of a rut? What helped you make that shift?

Do you see patterns of rumination or drudgery in people around you? What advice would you give them?

If you had to pick one small action today to start moving forward, what would it be?

Does the idea of “the devil you know” resonate with you? Have you ever chosen to stay stuck because the unknown felt scarier?

How do you personally measure progress—do you focus on big milestones, or do small victories keep you motivated?