They Mistake Kindness for Weakness. Boy, Will They Be Surprised.

The Undervalued Strength of Kindness

Photo by Vicky Sim on Unsplash

It all Started in Prison

I worked in a maximum-security prison as a staff psychologist for nearly a decade during the 90s. Going into the job, there were two levels of orientation: the official one that covered all the rules, procedures, tools, and legal considerations, and the unofficial advice offered during downtime by my more experienced colleagues. I remember much of the unofficial advice amounted to: “Be careful. The inmates are likely to see any kindness you show as weakness.” One of my fellow psychologists described it this way: while we were busy doing our jobs, these men, who often possessed nothing but time, sat in their cells, figuring out ways to take advantage of any kindness we might show.

I saw that as warped wisdom. The advice was possibly useful, but at the same time, horribly unfortunate. It felt vag…